I made it through another year.

“Move, as far as you can, as much as you can. Across the ocean, or simply the river. Walk in someone else’s shoes or at least eat their food. Open your mind, get up off the couch, move.” Anthony Bourdain

I’ve been writing this blog for a few months. I decided after being so overwhelmed with the content I scrapped the whole piece. A lot has occurred over the last few months and instead of talking about the good and bad I will leave you with photos from the last few months of travels.

*2018 TRIPS

Turks and Caicos

Ice castles of NH

Brooklyn x 4

40Days Baptiste Course

Spain

Tahiti

Hiked: Mt. Tom, Mt. Avalon, Mt. Field, Mt. Hale, Mt. Tecumseh!

Mexico

Maine x5

Hawaii

Japan

London

California Desert Springs

Joshua Tree National Park

“The world is a book, and those who do not travel read only a page.” Saint Augustine

HAWAII

“That it will never come again is what makes life sweet.” Emily Dickinson

 

“For once you have tasted flight you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skywards, for there you have been and there you will long to return.” Leonardo da Vinci

*JAPAN

“The best thing to hold onto in life is each other.” Audrey Hepburn

“One of the most beautiful gifts in the world is the gift of encouragement. When someone encourages you, that person helps you over a threshold you might otherwise never have crosses on your own.” John O’Donohue

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*LONDON

“The life you have led doesn’t have to be the only life you have.” Anna Quindlen

 

“We wander for distraction, but we travel for fulfillment.” Hilaire Belloc

*CALIFORNIA DESERT HOT SPRINGS/JOSHUA TREE NATIONAL PARK

“Grief never ends, but it changes. It’s a passage not a place to stay. Grief is not a sign of weakness, not a lack of faith. It is the price of love.” Author Unknown

 

“If ever there is a tomorrow when we’re not together…there is something you should always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem and stronger than you think. But the most important thing is even if we’re apart…I’ll always be with you.” Winnie the Pooh

After all the pages of beauty I guess I should update you all on my status in Cancerland. I’m so tired of cancer and the aftermath that it leaves behind. A few months ago I walked into an appointment with one of my oncologists when it came time to switch chemos, again, “I don’t want to do this anymore.” With a little bit of a push I reluctantly started the medication and within 2 weeks the doctors took me off due to the toxicity in my body. I’ve been on the chemo since and guess what, IT’S WORKING! However, I have this annoying lil new baby in my brain that brings me to craniotomy #3, coming 1st week of May. Can’t wait…I also have an immense of swelling in my brain that I need to start IV medication for.

One last update on my broken back situation. I broke my back in 4 places while traveling Hawaii in October. I had spinal surgery at the end of November and have been prepared for a 6 month recovery and a constant rotation of fentanyl, oxycodone and muscle relaxers. It’s not that I don’t want to live, I don’t want to live like this. Im trying to stick with it to buy me some more time. But living in this state is not what I wanted for my life.   The poem below was given to me by someone special and feel it needs to be included here.

* Mary Oliver Wild Geese:

you do not have to be good.

you do not have to walk on your knees

for a hundred miles through the desert repenting.

you only have to let the soft animal of your

body love what it loves. tell me about despair, yours and i will

tell you mine.

meanwhile the world goes on.           

meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain

are moving across landscapes,

 over the prairies and the deep trees, the mountains and the rivers.

 meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,

 are heading home again.

 whoever you are, no matter how lonely,

 the world offers itself to your imagination, calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and

exciting over and over announcing your place in the family of things.

*All the best to my friends, family and supporters. xo

 

 

 

 

 

 

7 thoughts on “I made it through another year.

  1. Have been wondering what was going on with you. I’m saddened to hear about your back and yet another craniotomy……You are going through so much….too much.
    Please let me know if there is anything I can do for you and your Mom…….
    You are always in my heart💕

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Thank you for the update. Words do not express how sad I am to hear that you still have to fight this battle. I know that we do not talk much or get to see each other. But you are always in my thoughts. Please let me know if there is anything I can do for you.
    xoxo 💜

    Niki

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  3. Hey hey hey. Just wanted to say YOU’RE FUCKING AWESOME!! What a crazy, crazy trip you’re on! I have had cancer and am in remission, it’s been 2 years, yippee. I’m a yoga teach love, love, love yoga. I don’t know you but I love you and your outlook. If you travel to OZ you’re welcome to stay at mine for a while. Peace, peace and more peace Tan xo

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  4. Dear Angela, I don’t remember if I sent you my favorite Mary Oliver poem, Wild Geese, or if another  person who loves you sent you such an important message.   Whichever, I am grateful for it’s message to you.  Your courage, honesty, and love for embracing curiosity about the world at large have inspired me.  I have positioned my garden deity in my office to remind me of the strength of your spirit and will keep it there until my gardens renew because it gives me conviction to recognize the power of each person to make meaning of this curious thing called  life.  I treasure your diligence of exploring the next and most necessary thing without doubt and with conviction.  You have enriched my life, Angela/  Thank you for the courage it takes to live with such integrity. Love,  Jan

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